Disordered to Ordered: A Case of Yoga

How do the biologist, the physicist, and the yogin explain what energy is? They explain it with the same words. 

The first Law of Thermodynamics states that energy cannot be created nor destroyed; it simply transforms.

Breathe.
Reflect on that for a moment before you read on.

Inhale, unhurried
Exhale smoothly
Gentle pause
Keep breathing through the nose

In a recent interview, physicist Brian Cox shared that the transformation of energy is what creates chaos. I appreciated his example of the Earth absorbing ordered energy from the Sun and then putting out the same amount of energy, with the only difference being that it is disordered (infrared energy). In short, we are over time putting out more and more disordered energy and we have a role in this transformation of energy. 

Is it just me, or does the world feel a little more disordered these days? Do humans have a role in this? AB-SO-LUTELY!

Often, we arrive to moments in our lives, usually multiple, where we ask ourselves, why do I do what I do? How do my actions contribute to this world? Am I bringing something valuable to my relationships, my community, my work and country?

I periodically ask myself this question as a mother, daughter, yoga studio owner, yoga therapist, and artist. I am at this junction once again: What is all this for?

When confusion, disbelief, sadness, anger and disappointment set in, my go-to is to return to the essence. My personal sva-rasa (Sanskrit for essence of the Self).  I get quiet, settle  with my breath and return to what am I devoted to. 

The Bhagavad Gita is always close in hand to me. In my recent study, I revisit the invitation Krishna makes to Arjuna of bhakti—the yoga of devotion and surrender of one’s actions to the eternal truth. I consider once again, what am I devoted to?

The efforts of yoga are in short attempting to bring order through the cultivation of awareness and sadhana (personal practice). The order is made through the intentionality of our actions, and even more importantly, through what we are  trying to cultivate with this action both internally and with awareness of how it impacts the external.

If solely pleasure is what is sought, the world will be our playground; everything will be an exploration of our senses and desire. 

If ideas of salvation and/or the pursuit of heaven, as defined by varying ideology, are your purpose for living,  then you will take action to uphold the fundamental belief system that you are in.

There are many dimensions between pleasure and salvation. In all aspects of our human experience, there is a fine line between what is medicinal and what can create harm. The cultivation of our discernment is the key!

I spent ages 12 – 22 deeply devoted to the church with monthly bible studies and many vacations trying to convert the “sinners” into saviors. Until one day, when I started receiving hate mail from “people of the church” and the institutions themselves, condoning my actions as a yoga teacher as devil worshiping. After a decade of devotion, I started to ask more questions. The teachings were not matching up the actions.  I couldn’t understand why the church never acknowledged the suffering of the Palestians or the right to their own country, with Israel being the absolute side the church stood on. I asked a lot of questions and was told to keep my mouth shut. I left the church in 2007. I am still devoted to the Light of Christ and the message of Mary and Lady Wisdom, yet I understood the limitations of this or any doctrine. 

Devotion for me is a slippery slope. I can fall into its arms, completely losing myself. I can also feel deep disgust for being brainwashed into believing this is the “only” way. Yet, I recognize that I need devotion that keeps my connection to joy clear. The less complicated for me, the better. Devotion invites order. Ritual reminds me to come back to the moment—atha (now)!

Over the years, I have seen a number of students who want to attend yoga teacher training, only for their sheikh, pope, or priest to tell them they are going against the doctrine of the religious order by taking this training. I respect all decisions. I may question and challenge, but I will respect. In the end, we need to feel some sense of order and connection. We don’t do well with chaos or the disordered. However, disorder has a role—to invite us to question the why of our actions and what we are devoted to: doctrines of “us versus them” or varying frameworks of the connection of “me and we”. 

I lean on the Gita once again:

The wise person doesn’t unravel the ignorant
By living the essence of Yoga
Inspires others 
—Chapter 3, Verse 29

During times when the chaos is palpable, where do we go? I invite the great sanctuary of nature to be my synagogue, church, mosque or temple. 

Look to the seeds that take root, germinate, reach for the sun and eventually return back to the earth to support new life. Not everything reaches its potential; a seed may be planted and yet never grow. We may never understand why. The need to trust is essential. The ideas of control are all part of our desire to manage the disordered.

In Yoga Philosophy, the driver is Guna (energy). Samkhya philosophy, which informs Yoga and Ayurveda, both lean on the art of managing Gunas through lifestyle habits and intentional action. We can manage our energy through varying domains. See the model developed by the Mohans, a framework called Svastha Yoga, based on Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, Ayurveda, modern lifestyle science and the wisdom of stress management.

We all make errors in our lives. Dosha is a common vernacular in Ayurveda. Dosha means “error,” a framework to understand how certain aspects in our constitution can support us to live more orderly.  Mistakes remain mistakes when we don’t learn from them. We can absolutely invite order from the disordered.  This is one of the great aspects of being human.

How? By having access to tools that create order within ourselves and for the greater. These tools, if they remain in the hands of the privileged, offered only through monetary means or through the systems that are inherently oppressive, will only become more corrupt and disordered. May all of us as Teacher-Practitioners aim to cultivate order. 

The ancient holistic medicine system of ayurveda, along with the philosophical framework of yoga, invite intentional order so that the state of balance is possible. This approach is  adaptable, able to meet our unique, individual lives and our collective happenings, most importantly to reduce suffering.

As I sit in my morning sadhana, I return to trataka* over and over again. This practice of candle gazing has sustained me. Most days I don’t have a physical candle to gaze at. Instead, I imagine it. I become the very tip of the flame and its radiance, dancing and reaching upward towards the ordered light of the sun. With mantra on my lips, I call out and remember my internal sva-rasa to live in harmony, kindly, peacefully, and find my path of contribution towards alignment. 

Just like the physicist Cox invites us to remember, all life is fed by the ordered energy of the sun. The energy that is put out is disordered. I believe that yoga is a path of harnessing energy and bringing order intentionally with what is in our capacity.

The intoxication of the path of yoga enraptures me. What is the resonance of harmony, internally and externally? Yoga, for me, is a vibrational field that I feel, listen to, and experience.  

What is the feeling of this embodied state for you? 

Does it have qualities that invite your senses to turn towards?  

I believe once it becomes a felt experience (even just for a few seconds), it has an anchor. A groove has been made in your bio-pyscho-neurology. We can return to it time and time again. Even when errors are made, we can learn and return. A continuous process of progress that is rarely a straight line. 

Don’t give up, let’s keep learning and move forward. 

*Interested in learning more about Trataka? Here is a course I have created, and it’s FREE—only for the month of July!